The Meandering Mind of a Christian Woman

            It is always puzzling to me to discover I’m in a bad mood.   Typically, I find no compelling reason to be negative.   Negative vibes are so sneaky, how do they get into my life?   After some self-reflection, I have concluded that my bad moods stem from grudges I carry and if I’m carrying a grudge, I must not be forgiving others.   I find that certain people or situations will cause me to overreact in ways that are not loving.             How do I forgive those who get under my skin? Should I forgive someone who is truly in the wrong, yet does not ask for forgiveness? What about righteous anger, shouldn’t I hold onto that?   The bottom line is that forgiveness is just as beneficial for the forgiver as it is the forgiven, maybe even more so.   Holding onto grudges is self-destructive; it actually is harmful to one’s health.   Carrying hatred adds unhealthy stress to the body.   As cliché as it may be, “Let go, Let God,” really is the way to go.   This is not giving someone c

            Do you ever have those days when you feel as though you are all alone in the world? You know you have God in life but you just wonder if anyone would even notice if you just went away. I have days when I feel invisible and I don’t like them.   We all want to know that we matter to others.   There is a song by the group Mikeschair that moves me so deeply, it is called “Someone Worth Dying For” here is the chorus: “Am I more than flesh and bone? Am I really something beautiful? Yeah, I wanna believe, I wanna believe that I'm not just some wandering soul That you don't see and you don't know Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I Am someone worth dying for “             How awesome are these lyrics?   However, I can get so caught up in the pleading that I miss the answer.   God is showing me everyday such love but I’m still riding the pity party tour bus, looking out the wrong window.   I recently looked out the other side of the bus and I saw

            I deal with very sick people on a regular basis, which is one of the attributes of working in an intensive care unit.   This means that I also deal with families of those sick people. I am continually amazed and surprised by the variety of family dynamics I see in action when a family member is ill or injured. Family dynamics run the gamut from exceptionally loving to exceptionally dysfunctional.             The crises that bring a patient to the intensive care will bring out the best or the worst in people.   Many family members will rise to the occasion and become strong for the sake of the patient or other family members. It is in situations such as these that people discover just how much strength they really possess.   It has been my experience that those who have a strong support system already in place, maybe a big family or a faith connection, have the best outlook on every situation. Even set backs are put in a positive light.   Maybe it is playing mind games with

            It is Christmas Eve; it is day for good memories.   As a child, this was THE day we celebrated and the excitement was palpable all day long.   The house was filled with delicious aromas as mom cooked a great dinner.   Since my siblings and I went to a Christian school, there was always a kids Christmas program in the evening.   Oh, the anticipation of getting through the program because following it, we went home to open the gifts.   My memories hold an evening filled with lights and sparkles and smiles, it was downright magical.             Over the years, the traditions have changed.   My own children became part of the Christmas Eve fun at my mom’s followed by a candlelight service at church followed by Christmas morning at home and finally to their other grandparent’s house, twenty-four hours of festivities. These days, it is more subdued.   We still go to candlelight service on Christmas Eve but our celebration is dependant on work schedules. What hasn’t changed for

            Christmas is almost here!   The question that many adults dread at Christmas is; what do you want for Christmas?   I have concluded (much like the Grinch) that once we reach adulthood the things we want aren’t things at all.   The things that I crave have to do with intangibles and the last time I shopped, I didn’t see any of them on a shelf.             I want some financial stability for everyone.   I want someone to tuck a blanket around me when I nap.   I want time with my children.   I want to be productive and have follow through in all my ideas and endeavors.   I want to find reasons for a hearty belly laugh at least daily. I want a faith that can move mountains and speak volumes.   I want to be happy.             Some of those items I have control over, the trick is to assume the control and stop waiting for someone else to do it for me. I do feel a new spirit easing into my life, a spirit that reminds me, “With God all things are possible.”   It will be interes

            After my bible reading this morning, I am wondering what Jesus saw in his disciples that he chose them to be his apostles. He chose fishermen, a tax collector, a physician, and even a traitor among others.   Talk about variety, wow!   He chose pretty average Joes to be his messengers.   He spent time teaching them and demonstrating to them how to love others. Further on in my reading in Luke 6 I read; “ 43 “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.   44 Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.   People do not pick figs from thorn bushes, or grapes from briers.   45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.   For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”   Did he apply this philosophy to his process of choosing disciples? Has he applied this philosophy in choosing me as his child?             So, now I look at my life.   What is the fruit

I awoke to snow on the ground today, the first snow of the season.   It is pretty to look at through my window, while I remain comfortable inside. Eventually, I will need to emerge from my house and embrace the cold and damp. Many things in this world are pretty, from a distance.   But the closer we get to something the more flaws we recognize. I wonder if this is where depression originates, what are we closer to than ourselves?   We don’t just see our physical flaws but we know the internal ones as well.   I struggle with depression and feel as though I am fighting for my life these days. I know that I am experiencing depression because my desire to write is challenged.   I can sit in my chair for hours and feel as though my mind is a void. This has been my situation for this week and why my blog has lain dormant. As I read Psalm 43 this morning, I finally had the idea to write about the depression.   I try to keep things upbeat but no one is upbeat 24/7, that isn’t real.   Moreov

            I grew up listening to or reading Luke 2 at Christmas time. It is the story of events surrounding the birth of Jesus. It is certainly beloved and meaningful to me. Christmas time just gives me that cozy feeling; basking in the glow of the lights from the tree, sharing love and laughter with family and friends, feeling especially pleased and eager to see the face of a loved one when she opens my idea of the perfect gift.   I usually get more pumped about Christmas than I do about Easter and I started considering that. I think it is because when Easter rolls around I come face to face with my sins and their consequences on Good Friday. None of us enjoy being confronted by our wrongs.             It occurs to me, however, that even though the pain of the cross isn’t as obvious on Christmas and we see Jesus as a beautiful baby boy, there is confrontation. I must confront the fact that Jesus had to leave paradise and take on human form, for me. Perhaps you have been at a cele

Let’s just it put it right up front, I have issues with political correctness.   While I do not intentionally seek to injure other people with my words, I reserve the right to use the words that express my thoughts and feelings most adequately.   The English language has taken enough of a beating over the years; to remove words from the dialogue on the outside chance of offending someone is offensive to me.   I heard on a talk show today that a teacher in preparing her class to sing the song, “Deck the Halls” decided to change “gay apparel” to bright apparel; fortunately, the teacher was overruled by the principal.   We are privileged to have a rich language in which many words have multiple meanings, just because some people choose to attach negative connotations to the word does not mean I should be restricted to its use. All of that being said; the other side of the political correctness coin is the choice to be offended. Yes, I said that correctly, each of us makes a choice whethe

            My sleep cycle is off since my travels; which means I’m waking up very early in the morning and falling asleep much earlier in the evening.   We haven’t had much sunlight since I’ve been home either so that affects things too.   I don’t know about you but sunlight is important to me and to my mood.   I have so much to be thankful for and to celebrate, I am excited for Advent and the Christmas season but without sunshine, I must put forth a lot of effort to maintain the joy.             I believe this is a good demonstration of the fact that I am a sinner. How easily I can fall into the funk of grumbling and complaining and missing the joy before me. Sin is darkness in my soul and I can choose to wallow in the darkness or to turn on the light. I can turn on the light by placing myself in the presence of God; he exposes the sin that creeps in.   It requires effort because God is a gentleman and will not intrude where he is not invited.   The effort required isn’t Herculean

I’m home again from my travels and happy to be so. The trip was wonderful, I gained so much knowledge and insight my head is still swimming. As I walked about the Holy Land I had two competing thoughts run through my mind; 1. This is where Jesus walked. 2. Jesus walks with me no matter where I am.   As interesting and fascinating as the sites were, the people remain in my thoughts the strongest. I didn’t learn a lot of names, I don’t know their birthdays or their addresses but I feel connected. We shared moments in time and these beautiful people demonstrated love and acceptance that I didn’t expect. Whether they had a little or a lot, they shared. I wonder if the situation were reversed would they leave my presence feeling the same impact as I feel?   While I hope and pray it would be so, I know I have room to grow.   How about you? Romans 12:13 says,   “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Practice is a verb, it means: “Perform (an activity) or exer

I write this from Bethlehem. I have been here three days now and I continue to be struck by the color white. All buildings and walls are varying shades of white. It works for this area because of the amount of dust, it doesn't show as easily on white surfaces. I am learning so much of the geopolitical battles that are going on here. Since I am in Bethlehem that means I am in Palestine and I have met such loving, generous, wonderful people. Their number one desire is to coexist peacefully and even though they are not being held captive in prisons they are prisoners in their boundaries. Where I am free to travel back and forth with little inconvenience they must prepare to be held back a few hours to days to not being able to go at all. What lessons of faith I am learning from these fellow Christians! They don't just endure, they endure with smiles on their faces and love in their hearts. May we always be so bold!

                        I’ve been thinking about time today.   I need to catch the bus to the airport at 10:00 and then the plane at 1:43 and when I finally land, push my clock ahead several hours. My daughter had to be at work very early this morning as it is Black Friday and she works in retail (she was a little late, mornings aren’t her thing).             This concept of time is held in high regard by many cultures.   I was raised with a punctual attitude; if we weren’t a half hour early, we thought we were late.   There are cultures that don’t place as much value on time but the concept is still present.             What if time didn’t exist?   I imagine that in eternity, it does not.   In eternity, we will be outside of time, for a punctual person, as me, that may present a challenge.   If we are outside of time, perhaps we will just decide to do something and begin to do it immediately, no waiting. It is fascinating to consider.             I wonder how grueling it was for J

            Hello to my blog reading friends. As we approach Thanksgiving I want you to know that I am thankful that you have taken an interest in the things I have to share. I pray for you on a regular basis and I pray about the things I write. Some days the writing flows quite easily, other days the ideas just don’t seem to be there. I am thankful that you return to the blog even when there has been a lapse of a few days too.             I will be on a mission trip to Israel this next week. I ask that you pray for me and the team I am traveling with; that we may be a blessing to those we intend to serve and also for our safe travels.   There may be a lapse of some days on the blog although my laptop is going with me, so if I can, I will keep posting.             May you be blessed with love without end (you already are, his name is Jesus). May you be blessed with a warm home, family and enough to eat. May you be blessed with enough challenges to make you strong in faith and in cha

Christmas is on my mind. One of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is going to the candlelight service on Christmas Eve. I just love the atmosphere, the church has low lighting, the Christmas tree glows, we sing many of my favorite songs and of course there is the candle lighting and singing of “Silent Night”. It is so uplifting as Pastor lights his candle and then proceeds down the aisle to light other candles which then light the candle next to them and soon the church is glowing and voices are blending in song; beautiful! I also have a couple funny memories of these services. One year, my then pre-teen daughter declared she knew that the reason we held the candle lighting was that when the hot wax dripped down and burnt the fingers it should remind us of the fires of hell. That made me laugh. There was another year when we were singing, I noticed an extra bright flame coming from Don’s end of the pew; he had lit his program on fire and was eagerly attempting to blow it out.

I’m getting ready to take a trip.   Next week I will be heading to Israel on a mission/tourism trip. I’ve been so busy that I really haven’t had too much time to think about it.   Now, I have had my share of travels over the years, what makes this one different (beside the location) is the control factor. This time, I am traveling with a group and someone else is in charge of all the planning and the itinerary, for a control freak like me this is a big deal.   But you know what?   I’m not minding it nearly as much as I thought I would.   Beyond the packing and getting myself to the airport, it all falls to someone else, there is freedom in that.             How often do I try to take the controls from God?   Even in my prayers I try to control him, when I tell him how I think he should answer my prayer.   What if I let go of the controls?   What will that free me to do?   You’ve probably seen that bumper sticker that says, “If God is your co-pilot, switch seats.”   Easier said than d

            The end of the semester is closing in on me and I must admit I had a minor meltdown yesterday thinking about all I had yet to do. Returning to school as an adult has many challenges; balancing school and work, grasping the subject matter takes a little more time, & remembering the subject matter… woo boy. It just felt like I was in a hole and everything was caving in on top of me. My perspective was all wrong.             I prayed a bit to get calm and tried a new perspective. This time I am above the hole and filling it with all those “to-dos” Then, I chose one thing and worked on it and today I will work on the next thing, prioritizing by due dates. Yesterday I was able to turn in one big assignment and I consider it a small victory. I’m thankful for God’s calming presence in my life.             Matthew 19:26 “ Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”            

            I had an “aha moment” this week.   I was discussing a child’s need for boundaries with some teens. Boundaries help children to feel secure and loved; there is comfort in knowing that someone loves you enough to stop you from doing something harmful.             It occurred to me that throughout our lives we are looking for the boundaries.   Perhaps they are more like guardrails as an adult; they keep us on track where boundaries are more 360, like a playpen.   My “aha moment” came when I realized that since Don died the boundaries have felt broken; not that he kept some tight reign on me but with his input I felt safe in the decisions I made.   We always made decisions (especially large ones) together.   After he died, I became autonomous in decision-making and I have to say, it was frightening.   I wanted to hear him say it was okay or that he approved. We all have personal boundaries instilled in us by our parents, it might be obeying the speed limit, paying all the bi

            A phrase I like a lot is: I don’t know what the day holds but I know who holds the day.   Usually, that is one of my first thoughts to come to mind when I wake in the morning.   (If I wake up late, it may be a while before that comes to mind.)   It is truly comforting to know that God has the day covered; it removes fear on the days I dread.   There are those days I forget it completely of course and then my day becomes chaotic and unmanageable. My emotions get the better of me then anger or anxiety drive my boat.   There is certainly little pleasure in days like that. God really does hold the day and resting in the knowledge that He is already there smoothes the path I must walk, it gives me confidence that I will not only get through the day but that God will be loving me along the way.   In an age where we promote self-confidence and self-esteem it can be difficult to trust that God is here and walking beside us. We have this great desire to be “self-made” let us instead

Don’t you just love aromas of the holiday season? I am an aroma kind of girl, give me an apple-cinnamon candle and I am loving it. I am also sensitive to certain aromas in a negative way, some spice smells give me an instant headache. I saw a cartoon this morning that said, “If you can smell yourself, it’s time for a shower.” This does not apply just to the dirty, there are people who seem to shower in cologne and we can smell them long after they leave a room. Aromas also hold memories, certain foods remind us of family and hopefully happy memories. I still keep a bottle of Don’s cologne and give it a sniff when I’m missing him.             What type of aroma does your personality leave behind? Are you a fun loving person that people desire to be with frequently? Maybe you are a grumpy person that people can only tolerate in small doses. How does your Christian personality impress others? I often wonder if I leave the aroma of Christ, I hope so. Our behaviors and attitudes leave impr

            The theme these days seems to be “love yourself” and to a certain extent, I agree this is necessary. However, I believe we have a misconstrued view of what love looks like (myself included). We equate loving ourselves with giving ourselves whatever we desire. This, my friends, is not love.             Real love fights for what is right for the body and soul. That might mean saying no to yourself. Parents do not give children their every whim and desire because they love them and know that not everything is good for them. Keeping love in the proper perspective will help each of us make better decisions throughout life.             I write this as a reminder to myself   as much or more than thoughts to share. Rather than seeing myself as being deprived, I want to see myself (and you) as loved.             1 Corinthians 10:23: "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is constructive.”

            I was once told, “It is arrogance to not forgive yourself when God has forgiven you.” Do you have those sins of the past that return to haunt you and accuse you? If you have already confessed those sins to God and asked for forgiveness, you can be confident that God isn’t going to continue to hold it over your head like a mean sibling.   Yet, so often, we hold those sins of the past against ourselves.   God forgives, Satan accuses.   So check your sins at the door and live the life God has called you to live.   This is not easy to do, our sinful nature says, we must place blame and take the punishment, Christ did that for us.   Confessing the sin is placing it at the foot of the cross and LEAVING it there.   This is not to say there are no consequences for sin, indeed there are.   We are well aware that lifestyle choices can lead to health issues or jail time or addiction or any number of things.   The key is to live the life God calls us to live, it is abundant, it is fil

            The sunset last night was absolutely gorgeous, truly a sight to behold. It is surprising that I was able to see it since I was working yesterday and I often miss the sunsets when I’m at work. I consider moments like that as special gifts from God that say “I love you.” I’ve been considering the multiple ways that I experience God in my life and wondering about the people I care about that don’t realize they too have experienced God. How often do we attribute things to a happy coincidence? I also wonder why people prefer to believe in coincidence to believing that God is giving them a “hi sign” of his love.   I get a lot of joy seeing God’s love in action in my life, why would someone not want to accept love? It is so puzzling. We live in a world where people substitute that void where love should be with earthly things that will never satisfy; such as drugs, food, pursuit of wealth. Think of the theme song from the Mary Tyler Moore show; “Love is all around, no need to chas

It is rainy and dreary tonight but I have a warm place to be and blanket for my lap; I am blessed. My house is cluttered with shoes, papers and books but I have young people in my life with which to share my home; I am blessed. I have scattered bruises on my body but they are from an enthusiastic dog that loves me unconditionally; I am blessed. I have aches and pains in my joints and back but I can still get where I need to go; I am blessed. There are many things in need of repair in my home but I have a home; I am blessed. I have a long to-do list but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter; I am blessed. Whatever our situation there is always a “but” and our view will change depending on which side of the but we are. Choose to be on the side of blessing, trusting in the Lord and whatever life throws at you will be a blessing too! Just feeling thankful tonight. I am blessed.

Last night as I was praying I was giving thanks and saying, “thanks for giving me…” and the “for giving” part suddenly jumped out at me.   For giving, forgiving, forgiveness.   God gives me (all of us) so much and he leads by example.   Although it is a very simple concept, I thought about the fact that forgiveness is for giving.   We are to forgive others freely, not carry it around just to give to family and friends. Forgiveness gives back too.   When we truly forgive another we let go of the grudges and bitterness, it frees us to live abundantly. Remember how Satan invades our lives in those innocuous ways?   Well, one of those ways is to convince us that we need to hang on to grudges and bitterness; after all, we need to get revenge…right?   Wrong!   “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.”   Romans 12:19 How often do we rob ourselves of God’s blessing because we don’t l

I have recently experienced dealings with people who come across as quite pompous and full of themselves. These people do not bring out the best in me, they cause me to feel rage and undermine my self-confidence. I find myself asking what is the Christian response to these people? How do I love these people who bring out the worst in me? So, I stepped back a bit to looked at myself first, am I being unfair to them, is there truth in their behaviors?   I decided that the best approach is to pray for them and for myself. To receive their actions with a grain of salt because regardless of how I feel about them, there are two sides to every interaction and I am not perfect by any means. I pray that God will enable me to let go of the rage and to love as he has called me to do. I pray for the proper perspective when I encounter these situations. I pray for them, that they will be humbled, not in a demeaning way but that they will gain insight into how their behaviors impact others and adju

It is a silly thing but quite often as I’m driving and certain music plays on the radio I envision myself in a movie. Then my mind wanders to what would my movie be about? I think about the plot and wonder does my life have a plot? In actuality every day has a plot. I am currently in a literature based English course and some of the things I have had to read don’t appear to have plots, that which gives meaning to a story. We all want our lives to mean something. So I ask God; what’s the plot to my life? Hopefully, my plot, my meaning, is intertwined in God’s will. I like to think that each day I follow the plan God has laid out for me. Mind you, this is not following blindly, it is trusting completely. I trust that God has me covered, right down to the background music. Whether I understand the plot or not doesn’t matter, that is what trust is all about. Every movie has conflict, tension, tears and laughter and that is art imitating life. Hollywood may never know I exist but God know

I feel as though “please forgive me” should just be playing on a loop. My issue: being judgmental, not in an overt way mind you, but the thoughts that go through my head passing judgment on the slow person, the not very bright person, the not very clean person, the odd person and so on. It isn’t even conscious judgment, these thoughts just pop up. 2 Corinthians 10:5 states: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” I frequently think to myself…take every thought captive, now, I don’t know about you but I have an unending stream of thoughts, taking each of them captive seems like an impossibility. How do I keep every thought obedient to Christ?   How I wish I had the answer to that! Maybe that loop playing “forgive me” is the key, it creates the awareness I need, the reminder and realization that these thoughts happen is the first step. Yesterday was Sunday and two con

            I have a personal philosophy about the things I post on facebook; I try to only post items that will make people smile (or laugh). I don’t like to post negative things. My thinking is that spreading smiles is much more beneficial to the world than negativity. Politics is a negative, child or animal abuse is definitely negative, crime is negative.   I don’t post those memorial items about losing someone to cancer or some other illness, I choose to remember people alive and laughing not by their disease.             This morning I wondered; am I sticking my head in the sand? Am I just making myself comfortable rather than facing the realities of this world?   I don’t believe I am. After some contemplation I still believe my philosophy is correct (for me at least). Workers in the US Treasury are only shown real bills, no counterfeits, because if you know what the right one feels and looks like intimately, then the counterfeit will be obvious. To me, the negatives are obvious.

            Only 65 days until Christmas! This is the holiday that produces extreme feelings in people; they either love it or hate it. Commercialism has done great damage to the holiday. I have met many a Christian who are Christmased out and that makes me sad. The joy of Christmas isn’t found under the tree, in the store or with a bite of the perfect cookie. The joy of Christmas is found in the manger, God made flesh because he loves us! How great would it be if we take back Christmas from retail and make it all about Jesus, as it should be?             I get really perturbed when people get so excited about Halloween and when Christmas is mentioned they just grumble about how commercial it is. People grumble when Christmas decorations are put out in the stores so early, what if those decorations were out all year long? There will be no bah humbug from me. I think of the converted Ebenezer Scrooge who promises to keep Christmas in his heart all year long; how I wish we could all kee

             I am being held captive in my house today waiting for the furnace repair man. It is a great reminder to not take things for granted. I am blessed with a nice home and it usually has heat or air conditioning as needed. I typically like my house on the cooler side anyway and it is a lovely day outside however, today, I am missing my heat. I really think I am missing it because I can’t have it.             What if forgiveness was taken away? What if it broke? (Thank God that isn’t possible) Have you ever experienced the grudge of another who refused to forgive you for something? It can be so painful because you know you are sorry for your offense but the grudge-holder still wants nothing to do with you. How happy I am that God doesn’t carry grudges, he only carries our sins to the cross. Try as I might to live right, I find myself asking for forgiveness (usually for repeating the same sin) constantly. It isn’t that God is a heavy handed master; it is because I am sincerely s

Have you ever realized that what you thought was just life is actually complacency? You know, that attitude that says, everything is just fine the way it is, nothing needs to change. There are moments in life when that is true; the key word here is “moments”. Moments are temporary. Complacency stretches moments out for   an extended period of time. God has recently pointed out to me that I have allowed complacency to rule my life long enough. For instance; I struggle with my weight, actually I haven’t struggled at all, I’ve let it win. I gave up on myself. Complacency is the liar that tells you certain things don’t matter. I have been telling myself that my weight doesn’t matter because I am the only one who cares about it and I don’t care that much, what a lie! Every time I look in the mirror I do care. There is also complacency about work that can creep into my life too. Rather than doing my best all the time, there are times that I only try to do better than the lowest common deno

Elsa and I went for a walk around the lake at Bauman Park today. I am so enamored of the fall colors, I love how God has supplied the leaves with such brilliant glory in their final moments.             As I walked, I prayed. I have been on an emotional roller coaster for several days now and I finally feel like I am off that ride. (Have I mentioned I strongly dislike roller coasters?) I was thanking God for bringing me through my personal turmoil and blessing me with all these spectacular colors. As we came around the lake I noticed how still the water was and how it allowed for the perfect reflection of the trees in all their glorious splendor. (see the picture I took below) It occurred to me that we are like water, we should reflect the beauty and love of God to those around us. When we are still (knowing he is God) we reflect him near perfectly. Yet, when we are not still; worried, fretful, fearful, we cannot reflect God, just as when the water is rippled and not still it does

I have spent a great deal of my adult life thus far seeking my passion. You know, that one   God given thing that I’ll excel at with a single minded focus. I see people focused on diet, exercise, fiscal security, art, cars, or success (among many other things) with this drive that seems unnatural to me. I care about many people, animals and things, I feel like a jack of all trades, master of none. Will I ever find that direction? I have a feeling though that I’m not seeing the forest for the trees. With so many different things going on in my life (the trees) I am missing out on the big picture (the forest). Each tree has its own beauty, each activity has its own purpose and every part of my life is another brush stroke that God is painting to create my big picture! How often must I remind myself to enjoy the journey? I have to admit it is hard to enjoy the journey when I feel like I’m on a road of potholes. But as I heard in church this morning Philippians 4 reminds me to give thank

Another election season is upon us, it drives me crazy! I despise the party system because I don’t think any of the parties have the monopoly on goodness, truth or economic development. I would love to see a new approach to the campaigning process. My idea goes something like this; first and foremost, no mud slinging; in fact no saying anything about the competitor. A candidate should only be allowed to speak of his/her own platform and accomplishments. All mud slinging does is take focus of the candidate. Not to mention that instead of voting for the most qualified person we are voting for the lesser of two evils. Secondly, all candidates need to back up their claims with reliable documentation to prove themselves.   Third, (this is most awesome) the campaign funds they raise should be used to provide a service to the people and demonstrate if they are able to efficiently manage their funds.   For example; a candidate raises ten million dollars, instead of using it on “campaigning”

This has been a rough day emotionally. I celebrate with my daughter and son-in-law their third anniversary. I also recollect the wedding day and the joy we shared as a family and that causes me to miss my Don. What I wouldn’t give to hold his hand in mine and to hear his laugh! So, I did what I usually do on such days and cried loudly (no one was around except my dogs) and I pleaded with God to ease my pain.             In an effort to feel better I took my dog, Elsa, for a walk. I listen to praise music on my I-pod and try to hear God’s voice. Every so often the urge to cry again would well up inside me, I found if I just tell myself “no” forcefully I can stop the tears. It is a gorgeous day so getting out for a walk felt good.             Then something trivial but odd happened. At first I thought I was seeing a large worm but it was actually a small snake crossing the path in an S-like manner, not much bigger than a number two pencil. Between the fact that it was unexpected and it

The idea that the earth revolves around the sun rather than the other way around was in Galileo’s day, heretical. This point was made in the sermon at church this morning. As I sat and pondered that, it occurred to me just how appropriate the solar system set-up truly is. Consider for a moment how egocentric the human being is already, this is why the original theory stated that everything revolved around the earth. I hypothesize that God put us in the rotation to figuratively put mankind in his place. We, as human-kind, already believe ourselves to be “all that and a bag of chips” but the sun is the center of our universe. There is no living thing that resides on the sun, it isn’t even a planet, it’s a star. Yet, God, in his wisdom, placed it front and center and we revolve around it. I don’t know about you but I think that is so cool! It reminds me how God chooses the small, the humble, the least likely to do his work all the time; Moses, the stutterer, David, the shepherd boy, Gideo

Do you know what you call a medical student that graduates with all A’s?....... Doctor. Do you know what you call one that graduates with all C’s?.......... Doctor. This is something Don used to remind me of when I would be upset about a B or C on an assignment in nursing school. This popped in my mind a couple days ago and it won’t leave. I am back in school and I am trying hard to get A’s in my classes. I don’t really feel uber stressed about school but when things like this happen I believe that God is using the familiar to remind me that I am loved. While getting an A may matter to me, it isn’t a condition of his love. In fact, there are no conditions to God’s love, how cool is that?   Whether I get A’s or even D’s, whether I achieve earthly goals or not, whether I’m charming or grumpy one thing NEVER changes; I am a child of God and he loves me! (You too!)   It doesn’t change my desire to try my best in life because I love him too and I want to do the right thing to put a smile

I thought I misplaced something very valuable to me today. I have a crucifix necklace that my husband gave me and that is also where I keep Don’s wedding ring. I wore the necklace a couple days ago and I remembered taking it off and I thought I remembered putting it in my jewelry box. However, this morning when I looked for it I could not find it. I didn’t really panic thinking it has to show up because I wouldn’t have left it somewhere unsafe. But after mulling it over in my head it dawned on me that I had water in my basement and we had brushed it into the sump pump, used the wet-dry vacuum and swept various ruined things into the garbage. Immediately, I had a sinking feeling; what if I left my necklace on top of the jewelry box and accidently grabbed it up with things for the laundry and thrown it in the basement? (We’ll discuss my housekeeping skills another time) I felt ill. How could I do such a thing? What will my children think of me? How do I explain such a gaff in judgment?

I have a confession to make...I am not always upbeat or happy. In fact, today I'm feeling pretty darn low. I went for a walk with my dog Elsa on a walking path surrounded by nature to pick myself up. I listened to praise music and talked to God as I strolled along the path. While I am really happy to have salvation and to know that I will see my beloved Don again, it doesn't really help me today. I try to change the focus of my thinking to positive things but honestly, that just helps me to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Christians have days that ...well...suck. Days like this may not make me love God less but they do cause me to cling to the hope I have in him more. So even though I just put one foot in front of the other all day today, I know that God was walking with me and always will be.

I have an analogy/theory about the Trinity. I believe when God said, “Let us create man in our image” he was not referring to the outward appearance of a human. Coming from a nurse’s point of view I look at a lot of things as to how it relates to the body. The three major organs are the brain, heart and lungs, these three work together to keep a person alive and for a person to be declared dead there must be no heart rate, breathing or brain activity. I believe the brain is in the image of God the Father, this is where thought originates and creativity develops as the Father created the universe and each of us. The lungs are the image of the Holy Spirit; we breathe which also gives us our voice as the Holy Spirit gives us words to speak. The New Testament Greek word for the spirit is “pneuma” which translates as wind or breath. We use that prefix in words such as pneumonia & pneumothorax, both having to do with the lungs. Finally, the heart is the image of Jesus Christ the son of G

Two little boys were known trouble makers in the small town. Their mother did everything she could think of to bring them in line. Finally, she went to her minister and asked him to have a talk with the boys, to which he agreed. The boys were taken into the minister’s office one at a time. The first boy sat across the desk from the minister who stared at him, the minister then stood up and spoke in a firm voice, “Do you know where God is?” The boy stared back blankly, thinking he had not been heard the minister spoke even louder, “Do you know where God is?” The color left the little boy’s face and he bolted from the office, ran home and hid. His brother watched as the first boy ran out of the church and decided he wasn’t going to stick around to receive the same treatment. The second brother found the first one hiding beneath the stairwell and he asked what happened? The first brother replied breathlessly, “It’s really bad, God is missing and they think we took him!” God will never go