The Meandering Mind of a Christian Woman

“You’re in remission.” These were wonderful words to hear, a great way to bring this year to its close. That word “remission” has been tumbling through my mind the last few days. If we break it down, re means again and mission means an important assignment to be carried out. It really describes every day of our lives; we are in remission daily as we carry out the assignments God has given us. 2 Corinthians 5:7:”Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away and the new has come.” Every day is a new day, a new opportunity and a new you!             In physical terms, remission is when the body is cleared of cancer, it is clean. In the spiritual world remission comes through the forgiveness we gain through Jesus Christ, we are clean. Anyone who has ever done a deep cleaning of her house knows how much better we feel when that is accomplished, it is a fresh start. The same is true of forgiveness.             Every day we make the choice, will w

            Have you ever felt the need to forgive God? That is a rather audacious thought, forgiving the forgiver?   However, if you have gotten angry with God, you have apparently felt he wronged you in some way, right? When someone does us wrong we must choose to either forgive or carry the grudge. If we get angry with God and stop speaking to him, we are carrying a grudge, we feel wronged.             Put simply, we either believe in God or we don’t. Our relationship with God is a lot like marriage, it’s for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer and any other set of opposites we want to throw in there. Like it or not, if we believe in God, we believe in his perfection too. We live in a sin filled world that can twist our thinking to believe we deserve a stress-free, worry-free, illness-free, whatever-free life. If we are honest with ourselves we know all we really deserve is death. We do serve a loving, living God. He gives us mercy, grace and

            “Guide me oh thou great Jehovah, pilgrim through this barren land.”   I pray this phrase frequently, especially when I am feeling aimless (which is frequently). Decision making is certainly not a strong suit for me; even supposedly easy decisions like what’s for dinner are challenging. So often I don’t feel God’s leading while I am in the midst of something, it is usually in the retrospective that I become aware that he was indeed leading me.             While going through something I feel as though I am plodding along. I wonder if God feels like I’m plodding too. I had an image in my head this morning of God picking up each of my feet one at a time and moving them one step forward, rather like I would imagine one moving a mannequin. I know how frustrated I become just getting behind a slow person at the grocery store and that is only a few minutes of my life. I wonder how frustrated God must get with me, does he want to shake me and say ‘C’mon, get the lead out, ge

            I have heard people say they don’t know how to pray. Yet, if you are capable of thought, you are capable of prayer. I do not understand why people want to make things more difficult than they need to be. Prayer is a conversation from the heart with God. There are no hard and fast rules to prayer, no set time of day, no specific posture needed, and no particular words that must be said.             I like to think that God is walking beside me all day, every day and simply talk to him as I do any friend. God is so big and so full of love for us he can and does meet us wherever we are. He can meet us in joy, in sorrow, in thankfulness, in complaint, in happiness and yes, even in our anger. He and I have a never-ending running conversation. When I have difficult days, when words won’t come, he helps me through the Holy Spirit, his word says; “ In the same way, his Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercede

            Today my brother-in-law, Bo, lost the battle but he won the war. Bo had been hospitalized since the beginning of the year. He had a stroke following heart surgery in January. In the past eight months he and my sister Aimee fought the bravest, hardest fight I have ever witnessed. She fought as his advocate and he fought to recover and get home to her, each because of love for the other. Bo had another stroke yesterday and that was the final straw. He gave up his earthly coil just a couple hours ago.             To the world; we lost. But as Christians, we know that Bo won! Bo now has eternal life, no more ventilator, no more pain, no more tube feedings, none of this earthly hassle. Aimee has some rough road ahead as she adjusts to life without him. She will have to learn what to do with her time now that she won’t be driving to the hospital every day. But Aimee has faith; she knows she will see Bo again. The battle loss is temporary but our victory is eternal. Thanks be

I bet you are familiar with the phenomenon of hearing your own voice in your head and then hearing it on a recording and saying to yourself, ‘I don’t sound like that, do I?’ I had a cassette tape recorder when I was younger and remember recording myself singing a Streisand song, believing I was spot on, Barbara had nothing on me. But then I played the tape back and was horrified by what I heard; good thing I hadn’t quit my paper route already. I find myself looking at the younger generation, or parents of young children and thinking, I didn’t behave like that. I have the tendency to gloss over my own past poor behaviors, do you? Not that I claim to have been the perfect young adult (far from it) or the best parent. However, I’m pretty sure what I remember in my head versus what really took place are in as much contrast as my internal voice and my recorded voice. God has redeemed me. He redeemed my parenting skills or lack thereof as demonstrated by the fact that my daughters

            The story of David and Goliath has been on my mind today. I have been thinking about that small stone that took Goliath down. I imagine David picking that stone back up after the battle and putting it in his pouch, one might think of it as a lucky stone. But David was God’s own heart, he knew the stone was simply the instrument but the victory was God’s. God had Moses give water to the Israelites through a rock too. Water that equaled life; from a rock!             Then I thought about the fact that Jesus is referred to as the “capstone the builders rejected” and also considered how on Palm Sunday the Pharisees and Sadducees wanted the people to cease their singing and Jesus told them it wouldn’t matter if the people were quiet, that “the rocks and stones themselves would start to sing.” God is also likened to a rock, our firm foundation.             We face our own Goliaths each day; illness, financial struggles, low self-esteem, doubts, disappointments, bullies,

There are days I have to remind myself frequently that life is not fair, God never said it would be. How could it be? We live in a sin filled world, certainly not one that evenly distributes pain, joy, wealth and poverty. When I have these days it serves me well to remember that the main reason I typically have such feelings of discontent is that I place certain expectations on other people, a.k.a. sinners. These are expectations I feel I place on myself but do I really? Do you? I also need to remember; I’m a sinner too and have let people down in my life. I don’t intend to be unfair but it happens. It is far too easy to point the finger at others and not look in the mirror as deeply as we ought.   Matthew 7: 3-4 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” I experienced a couple

            There is a documentary series by James Burke called, Connections . Don and I always enjoyed watching it; it was a unique look at how one thing could lead to another. It might begin with a ball point pen then move to the spring within the pen then to the inventor of the spring who invented something else and on it might go until it led to the space shuttle. We were always intrigued and fascinated. I got to thinking about this series and the idea of connections. What is the first thing we do when we meet someone new? We look for a connection, some commonality that connects us, perhaps a common friend, location or hobby. Humans want to connect.             Etiquette has always dictated that we don’t speak of money, politics or religion. Indeed, these topics can become sticky and awkward. But there is one thing every person in the world has in common; we were created by God who loves us. The problem is, not everyone appears to know this wonderful fact. What if those of u

            I am happy to say that I have completed my chemo and radiation and everything is looking good. My hair is starting to grow back and there is enough of it now that I am no longer compelled to wear a scarf all the time. The radiation burns are healing; still a little tender but improving each day.   There is a joy in my heart and a smile on my face.             While I am happy to not be tethered to daily radiation treatments anymore, I think my joy has come from everyone who celebrates with me as we bring this little journey to its close.   In many ways, they made it their journey too. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” It is so true, being surrounded by the love of a great many people truly does keep one strong. No one else could take the chemo for me or go to my radiation appointments for me. However, everyone was with me; God, my kids, my family, my church family, my fri

            It occurred to me today that I do not view many of God’s gifts to me as gifts on a regular basis; I often see them as burdens. I know I am not alone in this thinking. It is back to school season and many parents are rejoicing that they can send their children back into the educational trenches. Gifts or burdens? I have a home that shelters me, at times I have to clean it, fix it or update it and I groan. Gift or burden? I have a job that provides me a steady paycheck and other benefits, yet I whine (not always) about going to that job. Gift or burden? You get the picture.             As a society, we make sport of complaining, groaning and whining and if we can throw in a sarcastic comment while we’re at it, we get brownie points. Imagine how much better life could be if we traded complaints for appreciation. In every situation we are to give thanks. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 “Rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will

            I was probably about six years old when I made the most wonderful gift purchase of my life. I remember handing over my grubby dollar bills as the person at the counter handed me the most beautiful key chain that I knew would just make my big brother so happy. The key chain was basically a large clear marble with gold flecks inside, it probably weighed half a pound, I was mesmerized. At six years old, I never gave consideration to the fact that Mike would have this miniature ball and chain to lug around. All I saw was this beautiful unique gift. I remember being so eager to see him open the gift but I really can’t remember how he reacted, which leads me to think he was not as impressed as I was with my selection.             Looking back I can see how awkward that key chain was. The perspective of a six year old is so different than that of an adult. The same is true for spiritual infants and seasoned people of faith. For people new to faith or unsure of their faith,

            When we would go somewhere and things were not going according to plan, Don was known to say with great enthusiasm, “It’s an adventure!” I often hear this phrase in my head and it makes me smile every time. Making the best of any situation is key to getting through it as unscathed as possible. I wish I could say I always put things in the positive and make the best of things but the truth is, I get frustrated, angry and as fed up as the next person.             One thing I do when I find myself in an unwanted “adventure” is try to step back from it for a moment or two and ask myself why has God put me here just now? Then I offer a prayer of thanksgiving that God is with me and ask for His direction. The answers are not instant and many times I get no clear answer and I just have to trust. Perhaps, my situation was for another’s benefit, I may never know. We tend to think of our lives as isolated events and we focus on how things affect us as individuals. Yet, we do n

I was lying on a hard table, in a cold room, with my upper body exposed and my arms over my head, in order to receive my first radiation treatment. The machine was circling around me making buzzing and whirring noises. Talk about feeling vulnerable. Up on the ceiling is an array of little lights to suggest a star laden sky to give a calming effect. There was nothing painful about this process, yet it was intimidating. I made the attempt to take myself somewhere else mentally, I watched the little lights flicker and thought of all the stars in the sky and who placed them there. I was reminded that he knew where I was at that moment and I wasn’t there alone. Through all of the insults my body has endured in the last seven months, surgery, chemo, and side effects I have not been alone. Christ understands my suffering and pours out his love for me. I see his love through the people who surround me and support me with prayers and encouragement. It is easy to take these people for gra

James 1: 2-4:   2  Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.             The word perseverance really jumped out at me as I read these verses. Inside the word we find another word; severe, which never conjures up positive images. We face severe circumstances in life and we are supposed to consider it joy? Not just joy but pure joy? How do we do that?             I must admit I feel that I have been living through an extended period of testing and persevering has become more challenging. I feel fortunate to just get through some days; so this mandate of joy on top of it seems impossible. The definition of persevere is “ Continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no indication of success.” Those last few words put the nail in

This time of year is sentimental for me. It marks a few anniversaries of different events in my life that have impacted me greatly. When I get sentimental I think about the “good old days” when life was very different than it is today. I crave those simpler times although at the time I had no idea how good it was. It is a lot like realizing you were in good physical shape at a time when you thought you were fat (women understand this). Today, we consider ourselves pretty high tech and advanced; yet, I would hazard a guess that in 20 years we will look back and laugh at ourselves for thinking this way. All my speculation about the past and future reminds that we must appreciate the here and now. I’m sure I’ve written about this before but it is a lesson that requires relearning (for me anyway) on a regular basis. I get caught up in memories or dreams of what is coming when I have so many moments right here, right now that I need to live. The young look to the future, the old look

            I have read the statement; “I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than to live as if there isn’t and find out there is.” While I understand the gist of what is being said, it troubles me because it implies that faith is safety net rather than a heartfelt belief. Is this the life of a “lukewarm Christian’?   Revelation 3:16 “So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”             If one is not growing in faith, one is shrinking. We must continually focus and refocus our eyes on God and the love of our Savior Jesus Christ. We must also apply it to our living. There is no time for stagnancy. It happens all too easy though as the world pulls and tugs us away from what is important, eternally important.             Jason Gray has a song, “ More Like Falling in Love ” that describes so well how I desire to feel about my faith. The chorus goes like this:              “To sweep m

            I’m a big fan of words, sort of an obvious statement since I like to write. I remember when I was still pretty little, frequently asking my mother what different words meant. Learning vocabulary in school was a favorite subject too. Unfortunately, this love of words also leads me some sinful behavior, when I see misspelled or improperly used words I become a little judgmental. Now, that doesn’t mean I say anything but I do have very brief thoughts of feeling somehow superior.             I give great thought to my choice of words, spoken or written. My goal is to be positive and uplifting as often as possible. Proverbs 25:11 “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Our word choices (and thought choices) have the wonderful ability to create great beauty in the world around us, in the people around us. I am not speaking of falsely inflating an ego just simply recognizing a positive feature or behavior. Expressing appreciation for small favo

I’m a big fan of cruises. I enjoy the pampered feeling and living “high on the hog” for a few days. My favorite part though is having a stateroom with a balcony, yes it costs more but it is worth it to me. When the ship is at sea and the pool decks are packed with oiled and sweaty bodies, I can retreat to my own private area to enjoy the breeze and the ocean view. When I look at the vast expanse of water and sky I am reminded and awed by the vastness of God. Because as infinite as that view is, I know that God is even bigger. He is bigger than my corner of the world, bigger than the ocean and sky and bigger than any problem (real or perceived) that is in my path. On top of all that, he knows me by name and has called me to be his! Knowing that God is more than able to do more than I can fathom is such an encouragement in good times and bad.   When I forget how capable he is I imagine that endless ocean view and am reminded that I serve a great God. Jesus slept in the boat when i

Psalm 139: 7-12 “Where can I go from your Spirit?   Where can I flee from your presence? 8  If I go up to the heavens, you are there;   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10  even there your hand will guide me,   your right hand will hold me fast. 11  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me   and the light become night around me,” 12  even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”             I have been playing hide and seek with God, I have been hiding and waiting for him to find me. (I am not proud of this.) Just as a little child thinks she may be pulling off the best hiding place ever, yet her parent knows exactly where she is. God doesn’t need to “find” me, he knows exactly where I am, what I am doing or not doing.             Life has not been easy the last several weeks and darkness has permeated my day

            I have never thought of myself as a vain person. I’m not a girly girl who wears makeup or styles my hair. However, watching my hair fall out, the tug toward vanity has become pretty strong. We never realize what a blessing we have until we no longer have it. As I showered today and the hair collected around the drain I felt the urge to sob and just as I was about to give in I distinctly heard, “I see what’s on the inside.” I stopped the sob and thought about that. What is on the inside?             Maybe you are familiar with the Proverbs 31 woman. She is the woman I strive to be, honestly, some days I strive harder than others. Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Fearing the Lord does not mean being afraid, it means to respect him, to listen to him, to place value in his love for me. How easy it is for this world to convince us that outward beauty is of the greatest importance. And how shallo

            When all this business with breast cancer began, I kept telling myself it was no big deal, I’m going to kick cancer’s butt. I still believe that I will be victorious but I am learning it is a bigger deal than I gave it credit for being. I have always been a pretty independent woman and I can tell already that as I progress into my treatment I am going to have to ask for help. Right from the beginning God has assured me of his presence in the midst of this, I have no doubt of his presence either. I am, however, curious how this refining process will hurt in my life and will I be brave enough. I know all too well that I have seen the greatest miracles in some of my darkest moments, what dark moments lie before me? Here I go again, trying to figure out God before I even get to the crossroad. I really need to listen to scripture, Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”             Sometimes, we just have to trust that

            Today is St Patrick’s Day, which is significant to a lot of people. It is significant to me because it is the anniversary of when Don was born. I always wish him Happy Birthday, even though he is in heaven. I got to thinking about a birthday in heaven, he is not limited to a calendar year, he is in eternity; time has no meaning there. If they do celebrate such occasions my guess would be they would celebrate April 9 th , the day he entered the Pearly Gates.               My thoughts carried me further. What does one “do” in heaven? Don was a passionate potter here in the material world but there are no needs for material goods in heaven (are there?). So, what is he doing? I have read many books on near death experiences and I see a common thread, relationships. Souls gravitate to the other souls that knew them on earth. In heaven we will be in even closer relationship with God than we are already. I had always heard that we will sing praises to God when in heaven and

“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6             I was brought up in a Christian home and went to a parochial school for my elementary education. Many of my best memories revolve around praise music. In our school, it was a privilege to take part in the choirs. We had the cherub choir for the lower grades and the children’s choir for the upper grade. I was also treated to songs from the hymnal at home, especially at bedtime as my sisters would serenade me to sleep, (Three girls in one bedroom). I had a much better grasp of praise music than I did secular music (still true today).             So many of my childhood memories revolve around participating in the choirs. My earliest one was being in the cherub choir; I was probably about seven years old. We were singing at an evening service. The choir always sat in the balcony, this particular evening near the end of service, the power went out in church. A

            Evidently, God is trying to teach me patience. It is not a lesson (or virtue) that comes easily; I suppose if it did, it wouldn’t be a virtue. I feel as though I am in an airplane circling the airport waiting for clearance to land. It is so frustrating, the airport is right there, it is in sight but forces beyond my control won’t let me land and continue on my journey.             This is when faith must do its work. There are great many things out of my control. Yet, when I have faith and use it, I can trust that it is in God’s control, it always has been. Easier said than done, right? When my faith is challenged or shaken I can go one of two ways. I can cling tighter to God, spend more time in prayer and in his word (choose this one). Or, I can listen to the taunts and lies of Satan telling me that God doesn’t care or that I have disappointed God with my lack of faith so I must not really be God’s child (um, no).             I once heard that Satan attacks those

            I am surrounded by some pretty incredible people. My daughters, family and friends, everyone is praying for me; even people who don’t know me. I was contemplating this and feeling so very loved; you know that warm, joyful and content feeling that washes over you when you feel loved. It occurs to me that when we feel that way we are getting a glimpse of heaven. We all know that God IS love and in heaven we will be in his physical presence. We will be awash in that feeling but it won’t be temporary, it will be eternal. Can you stand it?             Imagine living without pity parties, without grumbling, without anger. Some people actually seem to enjoy being in a bad mood, how will they take heaven? When we take the time to love people like this, we take the opportunity to be God’s messengers and we give them a glimpse of heaven. Those who appear the most unlovable are the ones who need love the most.            God loves us so that we can spread it around and he ble

            In my devotion this morning I read, “Fear: False evidence appearing real.” It is so true. When I consider the different fears I have had; relatively few of them ever came to fruition. What are your fears? Perhaps it is a fear of not being good enough or the fear of being alone, maybe the fear of not being loved. God has already conquered these for you, we have forgiveness, he is our constant companion and he loves us dearly. I can hear the “yeah, but” already, I’ve said ‘yeah but’ myself. I agree, when one is lonely, it is difficult to hug the Holy Spirit. Yet, the Holy Spirit is indeed our comforter and when we hold fast to him, we can overcome those feelings and be confident and content. This week, due to the outpouring of God’s love in tangible ways (God’s love is always there, we just don’t always recognize it) I am feeling pretty fearless. If only I could bottle this feeling and hang onto it for later when I face other fears that may crop up in my life. While I

            Wow! God is so amazing! In the last 24 hours he has reassured me multiple times that he is in control; not only in control but looking out for me too. I still don’t know for certain what the future holds but I am certain I am in his mighty grip. “Oh, the sweet joy this sentence gives, I KNOW my Redeemer lives!”             I should never doubt his provision and quite honestly, I don’t doubt it. I do however whine about it from time to time, especially when his timetable and mine are in conflict. Yet, his timing is perfect, every time! God has alleviated a few stressors that have been weighing heavily on me and as I write this I am grinning like the Cheshire cat. Recent events have demonstrated provision as well as answered prayer. Surprised? No. Thankful? Absolutely!             My last post spoke to the fact that I am a planner and I have to come to terms repeatedly with the fact that God has the plan. It can be a daily event for me, but God doesn’t hold it again

            I have a good friend who calls me “the planner."  I like to plan things, like trips, parties and family dinners. While this characteristic can be a blessing, lately I feel it a curse. As I wait for insurance clearance for a second opinion, then to wait for an appointment for that opinion and who knows what waiting will take place following that, I find myself getting cranky and frustrated, I want my plan!             Genesis 12: 1 “The Lord had said to Abram, ‘Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” Did you notice those last four words? I WILL show you. God did not give Abram a Google map directing him to a specific place, he told him to leave everything he knew for something unknown. Although it was not unknown to God, God had the plan. And Abram became Abraham and he became the father of nations.             We are reminded throughout the bible that God has a plan. Here are a few reminders: Jerem

Valentine’s Day is just a couple days away and the commercials promoting products to demonstrate one’s love for another range from chocolates to diamonds to cars. Who knows how many women are expecting hearts and flowers and how many men are toiling over the perfect gift?   There are millions of people in the US who are single many are content being so but a great many are longing for love. There is a song from Meatloaf that plays in the background of a chocolate commercial, “I Would Do Anything for Love” and it has been playing on a loop in my head. I started contemplating that; would I do anything for love? I admit, the single life gets pretty lonely but I do have standards.   It is all too easy to confuse the idea of romantic love for the real thing. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight

            I’m tired. Tired of waking up each day to remember I’m dealing with breast cancer. Tired of waiting for physicians to decide on the right treatment plan. Tired of not being able to focus my energies on other things. Tired of being alone.   Tired of watching my calorie intake to lose half a pound. Tired of people thinking I am strong when I feel anything but.               This is the perfect recipe for Satan to attack and undermine my life. Fortunately for me, I have God’s word to combat this situation. It does not make the cancer go away or the frustration but it drives Satan away. It strengthens my spirit and my soul as it reminds me that I am not alone. It renews my strength.             Isaiah 40:29-31 “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those whose hope is in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow

            Matthew 6: 1-4: “Be careful you do not do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do you will have no reward from your father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth; they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father who see what is done in secret, will reward you.”             Do you ever feel as though you are invisible? It can be frustrating, especially in the work place where being recognized for your actions is important for advancement. When I find myself in this situation I must remember the bible verse above. Even though other people are unaware of my kindness, I always come back to remembering that God knows what I have done. The thing is he knows EVERYTHIN

            I am not the classic “beautiful woman”. I am however, beautiful when I allow God’s light to shine in me and through me to others. I allow it to shine when I am confident in his word and I trust him implicitly. For, when I am that confident, the ways of this world cannot distract me. When something is perceived as an awful event and I can see God in the middle of it, I have confidence that allows me to be bold in my faith. This is the beauty I strive for, hope for, and pray for. It cannot be taken away by age or disfiguration, by weight gain or loss, by exhausting days or sleepless nights. God gives beauty for ashes. he anoints us with the oil of gladness, and clothes us with garments of praise. We are planted oaks to display His glory! (Paraphrase Isaiah 6: 3)             Today, I choose to cling to my Lord and Savior knowing he will make me beautiful and I will glorify him. Each day offers a choice of how we will live; either walking with God or going our own way. “

            When I became a parent, I felt like I gained a better perspective of God. Not in an almighty, all powerful sense but I gained the insight of loving someone more than myself. In those times of exasperation, that all parents go though, I quite frequently stopped in my tracks as God reminded me that I too have exasperated him. He reminded me that mercy and grace are two of the best gifts that love has to offer.             Very often, when I consider how much I love my children, I realize that God loves them (and me) even more than I do! Think about how much you love your children; can you begin to fathom even more love? I really treasure the father/child relationship I have with God. He is consistent with me. He shows me mercy and grace frequently. Not long ago, I came across these definitions: “Grace is when you get good things you don’t deserve. Mercy is when you’re spared from the bad things you do deserve. God is generous with both.” God also disciplines those he l