tired


            I’m tired. Tired of waking up each day to remember I’m dealing with breast cancer. Tired of waiting for physicians to decide on the right treatment plan. Tired of not being able to focus my energies on other things. Tired of being alone.  Tired of watching my calorie intake to lose half a pound. Tired of people thinking I am strong when I feel anything but. 

            This is the perfect recipe for Satan to attack and undermine my life. Fortunately for me, I have God’s word to combat this situation. It does not make the cancer go away or the frustration but it drives Satan away. It strengthens my spirit and my soul as it reminds me that I am not alone. It renews my strength.

            Isaiah 40:29-31 “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those whose hope is in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

            How often must Jesus have felt defeated, tired and weary? He had to prove himself repeatedly to his own disciples. He knew he would suffer a horrific death for our sins. One has to wonder if he actually saw the victories in the individual lives; those little victories that keep us all moving forward.  Did the woman at the well leave or marry her live in boyfriend? Did the adulteress truly “go and sin no more?” What of those he healed; the lepers, the blind, the cripples, did they go on to live stellar lives? It isn’t likely that any of these people went on to be perfect and Jesus knew they wouldn’t. He knew that you and I would not be perfect people either, but he lived and died and lives again for us.

            Remembering these things, knowing that God understands me and my tiredness, these boost my faith and improve my mood. They give me the courage to thumb my nose at Satan and talk to myself in a more positive manner. Life isn’t always easy but it is in God’s control, I’m trusting him.
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