Pay Yourself a Compliment

            Are you like me when you look at a photo of yourself? Do you immediately locate all the flaws in your appearance? A picture might accentuate my eyes or my smile beautifully but all I see is the roll on my abdomen. I believe it begins as a self-defense mechanism; if I point out my flaws first then no one can hurt me with them. But in reality; the majority of people will notice my eyes or my smile and not the roll anyway.

            As of late, I have been exploring the concept of self-love from within the Christian perspective. It requires a certain amount of balance between humility and grace. Humble enough to avoid being a chest pounder pointing out all our achievements but graceful enough to accept a sincere compliment. Whenever we look at how Jesus handled such issues in scripture, he demonstrates that perfect balance.  From the wedding at Canna to his crucifixion, he just spoke the truth his only boasting was in God the Father. But he didn’t deflect praise either. We can be so quick to deflect a compliment believing we are being humble. In reality a person who compliments us has given us something of him or herself, to not accept the compliment discounts their gift. Neither does a compliment need to launch into a discussion about our success in a particular area, a simple thank you will do. If a person wants to know more, he will ask for more information.

            This leaning into self-deprecation is a tool of Satan; he doesn’t want us to feel good ourselves. He wants us to hate ourselves really because then we won’t feel worthy of God’s love. The best combative is appreciation (the opposite of deprecation). There is much evidence that the life of gratitude increases health and satisfaction in life. Appreciate the blessings you have, give thanks to God and thanks to the people and blessings He has given you. Appreciate yourself and the abilities He has given you. The truth is we have always been worthy of God’s love because He created us; we are the work of His hands. Psalm 139:13, 14 “You created my inmost being; you knit me together in mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Our worth does not come from the things we do or don’t do; our worth, like our lives, comes from Him. Our goals in life should center around complimenting God our creator, like a good wine compliments a meal. In Christian-speak, we are to glorify God. What is so cool about all this glorifying business is that God allows us to share in the glory. Living the life that appreciates and compliments brings joy, happiness and satisfaction to our very souls.

            Looking back on Psalm 139, the verse says “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” the word fearfully implies with the utmost respect, we ought to respect ourselves in thought, word and deed. Respect comes in our choices; is what we are about to say or do or spend time thinking about respectful to our body and soul? How we speak to ourselves should be every bit as kind and generous as we would speak to a small child we love with all our hearts. We are God’s children and that small child resides within each of us still.

            In his book, Love Thyself, The Message from Water III, Masaru Emoto (2004, pg 89) displays images of water crystals after being exposed to written words or prayers and the results are fascinating. Our bodies are composed 50-65% of water, so it follows that what happens in water is likely happening within us too.  Consider creation as depicted in Genesis1:2 “Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.”

Look at the effect prayer has on water! Imagine what it can do for you? I selected this page because it shows a before and after view. There are so many images in the book which demonstrate the power of positive words. Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart doeth good like a medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Loving ourselves enough to speak good things, to appreciate and cherish our gifts should be our chosen lifestyle. Imagine what a world we would have! We need to speak words of kindness, love and appreciation to each other as well.

            Scripture gives us a clear picture of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” These verses are not just for married couples, these verses apply to how we should love ourselves too! (I’ll pull apart the pieces on this text at another time.) Now, go to the mirror and pay yourself a sincere compliment.