The Meandering Mind of a Christian Woman

I write this from Bethlehem. I have been here three days now and I continue to be struck by the color white. All buildings and walls are varying shades of white. It works for this area because of the amount of dust, it doesn't show as easily on white surfaces. I am learning so much of the geopolitical battles that are going on here. Since I am in Bethlehem that means I am in Palestine and I have met such loving, generous, wonderful people. Their number one desire is to coexist peacefully and even though they are not being held captive in prisons they are prisoners in their boundaries. Where I am free to travel back and forth with little inconvenience they must prepare to be held back a few hours to days to not being able to go at all. What lessons of faith I am learning from these fellow Christians! They don't just endure, they endure with smiles on their faces and love in their hearts. May we always be so bold!

                        I’ve been thinking about time today.   I need to catch the bus to the airport at 10:00 and then the plane at 1:43 and when I finally land, push my clock ahead several hours. My daughter had to be at work very early this morning as it is Black Friday and she works in retail (she was a little late, mornings aren’t her thing).             This concept of time is held in high regard by many cultures.   I was raised with a punctual attitude; if we weren’t a half hour early, we thought we were late.   There are cultures that don’t place as much value on time but the concept is still present.             What if time didn’t exist?   I imagine that in eternity, it does not.   In eternity, we will be outside of time, for a punctual person, as me, that may present a challenge.   If we are outside of time, perhaps we will just decide to do something and begin to do it immediately, no waiting. It is fascinating to consider.             I wonder how grueling it was for J

            Hello to my blog reading friends. As we approach Thanksgiving I want you to know that I am thankful that you have taken an interest in the things I have to share. I pray for you on a regular basis and I pray about the things I write. Some days the writing flows quite easily, other days the ideas just don’t seem to be there. I am thankful that you return to the blog even when there has been a lapse of a few days too.             I will be on a mission trip to Israel this next week. I ask that you pray for me and the team I am traveling with; that we may be a blessing to those we intend to serve and also for our safe travels.   There may be a lapse of some days on the blog although my laptop is going with me, so if I can, I will keep posting.             May you be blessed with love without end (you already are, his name is Jesus). May you be blessed with a warm home, family and enough to eat. May you be blessed with enough challenges to make you strong in faith and in cha

Christmas is on my mind. One of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is going to the candlelight service on Christmas Eve. I just love the atmosphere, the church has low lighting, the Christmas tree glows, we sing many of my favorite songs and of course there is the candle lighting and singing of “Silent Night”. It is so uplifting as Pastor lights his candle and then proceeds down the aisle to light other candles which then light the candle next to them and soon the church is glowing and voices are blending in song; beautiful! I also have a couple funny memories of these services. One year, my then pre-teen daughter declared she knew that the reason we held the candle lighting was that when the hot wax dripped down and burnt the fingers it should remind us of the fires of hell. That made me laugh. There was another year when we were singing, I noticed an extra bright flame coming from Don’s end of the pew; he had lit his program on fire and was eagerly attempting to blow it out.

I’m getting ready to take a trip.   Next week I will be heading to Israel on a mission/tourism trip. I’ve been so busy that I really haven’t had too much time to think about it.   Now, I have had my share of travels over the years, what makes this one different (beside the location) is the control factor. This time, I am traveling with a group and someone else is in charge of all the planning and the itinerary, for a control freak like me this is a big deal.   But you know what?   I’m not minding it nearly as much as I thought I would.   Beyond the packing and getting myself to the airport, it all falls to someone else, there is freedom in that.             How often do I try to take the controls from God?   Even in my prayers I try to control him, when I tell him how I think he should answer my prayer.   What if I let go of the controls?   What will that free me to do?   You’ve probably seen that bumper sticker that says, “If God is your co-pilot, switch seats.”   Easier said than d

            The end of the semester is closing in on me and I must admit I had a minor meltdown yesterday thinking about all I had yet to do. Returning to school as an adult has many challenges; balancing school and work, grasping the subject matter takes a little more time, & remembering the subject matter… woo boy. It just felt like I was in a hole and everything was caving in on top of me. My perspective was all wrong.             I prayed a bit to get calm and tried a new perspective. This time I am above the hole and filling it with all those “to-dos” Then, I chose one thing and worked on it and today I will work on the next thing, prioritizing by due dates. Yesterday I was able to turn in one big assignment and I consider it a small victory. I’m thankful for God’s calming presence in my life.             Matthew 19:26 “ Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”            

            I had an “aha moment” this week.   I was discussing a child’s need for boundaries with some teens. Boundaries help children to feel secure and loved; there is comfort in knowing that someone loves you enough to stop you from doing something harmful.             It occurred to me that throughout our lives we are looking for the boundaries.   Perhaps they are more like guardrails as an adult; they keep us on track where boundaries are more 360, like a playpen.   My “aha moment” came when I realized that since Don died the boundaries have felt broken; not that he kept some tight reign on me but with his input I felt safe in the decisions I made.   We always made decisions (especially large ones) together.   After he died, I became autonomous in decision-making and I have to say, it was frightening.   I wanted to hear him say it was okay or that he approved. We all have personal boundaries instilled in us by our parents, it might be obeying the speed limit, paying all the bi

            A phrase I like a lot is: I don’t know what the day holds but I know who holds the day.   Usually, that is one of my first thoughts to come to mind when I wake in the morning.   (If I wake up late, it may be a while before that comes to mind.)   It is truly comforting to know that God has the day covered; it removes fear on the days I dread.   There are those days I forget it completely of course and then my day becomes chaotic and unmanageable. My emotions get the better of me then anger or anxiety drive my boat.   There is certainly little pleasure in days like that. God really does hold the day and resting in the knowledge that He is already there smoothes the path I must walk, it gives me confidence that I will not only get through the day but that God will be loving me along the way.   In an age where we promote self-confidence and self-esteem it can be difficult to trust that God is here and walking beside us. We have this great desire to be “self-made” let us instead

Don’t you just love aromas of the holiday season? I am an aroma kind of girl, give me an apple-cinnamon candle and I am loving it. I am also sensitive to certain aromas in a negative way, some spice smells give me an instant headache. I saw a cartoon this morning that said, “If you can smell yourself, it’s time for a shower.” This does not apply just to the dirty, there are people who seem to shower in cologne and we can smell them long after they leave a room. Aromas also hold memories, certain foods remind us of family and hopefully happy memories. I still keep a bottle of Don’s cologne and give it a sniff when I’m missing him.             What type of aroma does your personality leave behind? Are you a fun loving person that people desire to be with frequently? Maybe you are a grumpy person that people can only tolerate in small doses. How does your Christian personality impress others? I often wonder if I leave the aroma of Christ, I hope so. Our behaviors and attitudes leave impr

            The theme these days seems to be “love yourself” and to a certain extent, I agree this is necessary. However, I believe we have a misconstrued view of what love looks like (myself included). We equate loving ourselves with giving ourselves whatever we desire. This, my friends, is not love.             Real love fights for what is right for the body and soul. That might mean saying no to yourself. Parents do not give children their every whim and desire because they love them and know that not everything is good for them. Keeping love in the proper perspective will help each of us make better decisions throughout life.             I write this as a reminder to myself   as much or more than thoughts to share. Rather than seeing myself as being deprived, I want to see myself (and you) as loved.             1 Corinthians 10:23: "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is constructive.”

            I was once told, “It is arrogance to not forgive yourself when God has forgiven you.” Do you have those sins of the past that return to haunt you and accuse you? If you have already confessed those sins to God and asked for forgiveness, you can be confident that God isn’t going to continue to hold it over your head like a mean sibling.   Yet, so often, we hold those sins of the past against ourselves.   God forgives, Satan accuses.   So check your sins at the door and live the life God has called you to live.   This is not easy to do, our sinful nature says, we must place blame and take the punishment, Christ did that for us.   Confessing the sin is placing it at the foot of the cross and LEAVING it there.   This is not to say there are no consequences for sin, indeed there are.   We are well aware that lifestyle choices can lead to health issues or jail time or addiction or any number of things.   The key is to live the life God calls us to live, it is abundant, it is fil

            The sunset last night was absolutely gorgeous, truly a sight to behold. It is surprising that I was able to see it since I was working yesterday and I often miss the sunsets when I’m at work. I consider moments like that as special gifts from God that say “I love you.” I’ve been considering the multiple ways that I experience God in my life and wondering about the people I care about that don’t realize they too have experienced God. How often do we attribute things to a happy coincidence? I also wonder why people prefer to believe in coincidence to believing that God is giving them a “hi sign” of his love.   I get a lot of joy seeing God’s love in action in my life, why would someone not want to accept love? It is so puzzling. We live in a world where people substitute that void where love should be with earthly things that will never satisfy; such as drugs, food, pursuit of wealth. Think of the theme song from the Mary Tyler Moore show; “Love is all around, no need to chas

It is rainy and dreary tonight but I have a warm place to be and blanket for my lap; I am blessed. My house is cluttered with shoes, papers and books but I have young people in my life with which to share my home; I am blessed. I have scattered bruises on my body but they are from an enthusiastic dog that loves me unconditionally; I am blessed. I have aches and pains in my joints and back but I can still get where I need to go; I am blessed. There are many things in need of repair in my home but I have a home; I am blessed. I have a long to-do list but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter; I am blessed. Whatever our situation there is always a “but” and our view will change depending on which side of the but we are. Choose to be on the side of blessing, trusting in the Lord and whatever life throws at you will be a blessing too! Just feeling thankful tonight. I am blessed.

Last night as I was praying I was giving thanks and saying, “thanks for giving me…” and the “for giving” part suddenly jumped out at me.   For giving, forgiving, forgiveness.   God gives me (all of us) so much and he leads by example.   Although it is a very simple concept, I thought about the fact that forgiveness is for giving.   We are to forgive others freely, not carry it around just to give to family and friends. Forgiveness gives back too.   When we truly forgive another we let go of the grudges and bitterness, it frees us to live abundantly. Remember how Satan invades our lives in those innocuous ways?   Well, one of those ways is to convince us that we need to hang on to grudges and bitterness; after all, we need to get revenge…right?   Wrong!   “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.”   Romans 12:19 How often do we rob ourselves of God’s blessing because we don’t l