The Meandering Mind of a Christian Woman

            If you know me, you know I avoid politics and controversy. I avoid conflict. I am a coward. This is just one example of white privilege. I can afford to never step into the fray because I’m not particularly affected by it on a personal level. I don’t want to be a coward, I want to help promote justice for all people, including and especially, people of color. I have prayed about what I can do to effect change and my power lies in my writings. It is a small power to be sure, but I must use what I can to promote liberty and justice for all.             I was raised in a white town; we did not have a black family in our town until I was about 14 years old. Racist jokes were common in my house, even applauded at times. I was taught that people of color could not be trusted, they were different somehow. When that first black family did move to town, I wanted to be f...

            Marking time; today is 9/11 a date that invokes tragic memories in the heart of every American who was alive eighteen years ago. Most of know exactly where we were when we heard the news; I was sitting at an intersection waiting for a left turn signal. There is something about tragedy that gets embossed on ones’ mind. When I consider the events of my life, I can recall intimate details that I am unable to at any other time. I must dig in my mind to recall what I had for lunch two days ago, but I remember the smell of fresh paint in my house 46 years ago when we received the call my brother had been killed in an accident.             I have been contemplating what we humans do on anniversaries of events. We mark time. But we also mark time for inconsequential days. How many days until the weekend, until vacation, even how many hours until the end of my shift? We...

            When I was a pre-teen, I was given my eldest brother’s bible, he had been killed in an electrocution accident. I ran my fingers over the gold embossed letters of his name lovingly.   I recall being fascinated by the fact it was a red-letter bible, meaning that the words of Christ were in red. I opened the book to this verse: Matthew 7:1,2 “Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” I remember feeling as though it was a revelation; a piece of wisdom that could serve me well. It is a verse that frequently passes through my thoughts even now. Judging is something with which I struggle. It just seems to happen automatically; I try not to speak my judgments out loud, but God knows the judgments I make even in my mind.             There is a big diff...

            I just spent my morning waiting in an auto care shop for maintenance to be completed on my vehicle. I have spent the last couple months ignoring a warning light on my dashboard and decided it was time to investigate it. The guy behind the counter approached me a couple times with a new problem and different scenarios of how to manage them.   (It’s situations like this that remind me how much I miss my husband.) At one point the solutions proposed had a price difference of more than a thousand dollars, we went with the less expensive solution first. As they worked on that solution, I prayed fervently that it would work. Fortunately for me, God heard my prayer and answered in the affirmative. The mechanic did say there is the potential the solution is temporary; I will continue praying.             As I left the shop in my smoothly running vehicle, it occurr...

            Since I recently broached the topic of speaking it seems natural to proceed with the concept of listening. James 1:19,20 “My dear brothers and sisters take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”   As one who is mildly hard of hearing there are certain people whose voices are so quiet; I must face them and concentrate on their voice to hear them. Honestly, that should be how I listen to anyone speaking to me. Giving our full attention to someone demonstrates love and care. I work in an environment that requires a certain amount of multi-tasking; I am accustomed to distracted listening, but I admit I don’t do it well.             I’m particularly fond of the story in 1 Kings 19:11-13 when Elijah encounters God. “The Lord said, ‘Go out ...

            “You can’t outrun your mouth.” I heard this comment in reference to diet and exercise; meaning you can’t exercise your way out of poor eating habits. However, I think this applies to the spoken word as well. Perhaps this one will ring a bell; “Open mouth, insert foot and chew vigorously.” How many times have you said something that has come back to haunt you? It might be something said innocently enough but has been skewed by another to be offensive. Or even worse, your words are spoken to another through another, wrongly; like playing telephone, who truly knows what each person said or heard? The spoken word is something you can never get back and those sound waves keep vibrating in the atmosphere and ringing in the ears. You know this all too well if you have ever been on the receiving end of harsh criticism or insult.             I prefer the written word ov...

            Are you like me when you look at a photo of yourself? Do you immediately locate all the flaws in your appearance? A picture might accentuate my eyes or my smile beautifully but all I see is the roll on my abdomen. I believe it begins as a self-defense mechanism; if I point out my flaws first then no one can hurt me with them. But in reality; the majority of people will notice my eyes or my smile and not the roll anyway.             As of late, I have been exploring the concept of self-love from within the Christian perspective. It requires a certain amount of balance between humility and grace. Humble enough to avoid being a chest pounder pointing out all our achievements but graceful enough to accept a sincere compliment. Whenever we look at how Jesus handled such issues in scripture, he demonstrates that perfect balance.   From the wedding at Canna to his ...