Listen

 

                Everyone wants to be heard, but no one wants to listen. It happens all the time, in the home, at work, the city, the state, the nation and internationally. We all want to make our point, but we don’t listen to the opposite point of view. We’ve already made up our mind on a topic and we aren’t going to budge.

                All the divisiveness in our country is so frustrating. What would happen if we could sit at a table with others who see things differently than we do and we listened? Hearing and listening are completely different. We need to listen to understand yet how often are we formulating our response before we have even heard completely what the other person is saying? I know I am guilty of this.

                True listening allows us the opportunity to consider a different perspective. Forget walking in someone else’s shoes, it can’t be done. But listening and asking questions to understand; this is real discourse and holds the keys to resolving the issues that stand between us.

                For example: A black person says, White privilege exists. A white person hears, Everything you have has been given to you. Let’s first discuss what “privilege” means to each side. Let’s understand what type of injustices there are to be remedied. If we aren’t beginning from the same definition, there will never be resolution. You don't show up to a football game with a hockey stick. We must begin the discussion on the same playing field. Then we can come together and develop a working hypothesis.

                In my last post I said that I understand the protests and riots because of the anger blacks have at not being heard or seeing positive changes. I did NOT say I agree with the violence, yet that’s what some people read.

                I hold a point of view that dividing into groups makes it more difficult to find solutions. But I just had a discussion with a black woman that the divisions are necessary to bring issues into the light. She’s right. Saying, we’re all members of the human race or we’re all God’s children (which we are) is a sweet sentiment but it also sweeps the problems under the rug. Even though I don't like taking sides, at times it is a necessity.

                There are far more negative and divisive posts on Facebook and in the media than positive ones. Every side believes they are right. It doesn’t matter whether you’re black, white, immigrant, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Republican or Democrat; no one side (except God Himself) is always right, we can’t be because we’re all sinners.

                I grew up in house with a lot of angry yelling and have an aversion to anger to this day. It doesn’t mean I don’t get angry but know one thing; anger itself rarely, if ever, leads to any true and positive change. It might cause me to behave differently around you, but I wouldn’t call that positive change. Walking on eggshells is an uncomfortable way to live.

                Let’s sit down with our neighbor with the opposing viewpoint and have the discussion, understand the definitions and ask the questions. Let’s not post the insulting meme or unfounded article. Let’s check our anger at the door, take off our earmuffs and work on solutions together, just because you yell louder doesn’t make you correct.

                James 1: 19: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

                Proverbs 15:1 “ A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”