The Meandering Mind of a Christian Woman

            The last several months I have been having a recurring theme in my dreams; I am always searching for something. It might be a person or an inanimate object but regardless, I am looking for something. It is odd first of all that I even remember these dreams but even more so that they are bothering me. I have been taking it to God in prayer but the answers are not coming readily. It can be unsettling going through this period; obviously I’m searching for answers. However, aside from what the dreams mean, I don’t know what the question is!             Today, I was thinking that a mountaintop experience might be in order, to reignite the enthusiasm and flames of faith. Looking back on my prior mountaintop experiences; they are typically accompanied by tragedy. My most meaningful, faith growing experiences happened when I was facing great difficulties. I’m really not up for another tragedy in my life right now. So, I intend to sit at the feet of God and wait; some days wi

            Have you ever had the experience of knowing you’re hungry but you don’t know what you’re hungry for? Or perhaps (like me) you get that angsty feeling of wanting to get out and do something but can’t decide what that something might be. Some of us turn to activity, some to food, some to drugs and some to drink. When Elsa and I go on our walk in the park, we walk around a lake and there are certain places on the path that make it convenient for Elsa to go to the edge of the water and get a drink. We have developed a way of communicating that allows me to know that she needs a bit of refreshment. When we approach one of those easy access places, Elsa will stop on the path and look up at me, a simple move but it tells me what she needs. As she looked up at me this morning I got to thinking, where do I look when I am in need of refreshment? In my early adult years the answer would be the bartender (right John?). This created for me the analogy of God as my bar tender.    

            The sermon this morning indicated that that when God looks at us he sees Jesus. My immediate thought was that God must be blind. To look at me a poor, pitiful sinner and see the perfection that is Jesus Christ, is nothing short of miraculous. Following what little I know of logic it stands to reason that if God is love (which he is) and love is blind then God must be blind. However, in this circumstance his blindness is not a handicap but rather a merciful blessing.             The sermon also reflected that Jesus was first and became a servant among men; this is also to be how we respond to God’s love for us. We have no need to push and shove to the front of the line to gain the attention of God because he is looking for his children who have the hearts of servants and who see others the way he does.             Luke 9: 46-48 _ ‘ An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest.  Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child

                I am at that age when memory is starting to become an issue and lists become common place. However, there are certain things I have a more difficult time forgetting, usually they are offenses I have perceived as being committed by another against me. Why is that?   I want to forget them and move forward, yet when something similar occurs or that person enters my personal space, that old offense rears its ugly head. I will allow something which should have been forgotten to color my actions or reactions. Do you do that?                 Jeremiah 31:34b “…declares the Lord, ‘For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”   As I have contemplated this verse this morning, I marvel that God could be so intentionally forgetful. Especially when I sin continually! There are some sins I committed years ago with which Satan still taunts me, accusing me of being too horrible for God to love.   Fortunately, God’s word reminds me again and again tha

                        I don’t know if there is such thing as a “typical” Netflix consumer but I rather doubt that I am typical. I rarely watch a movie, too long, or get into a TV series (can you say commitment issues?). I enjoy finding stand-up comedy that isn’t too vulgar or documentaries that are less than an hour in length. This has led me to watch several TED talks. I am really drawn to learning about other cultures, I suppose it is the traveler in me, I can’t swing a trip right now so I will invest my time exploring other worlds via cyberspace. There is so much to learn too!             It is both freeing and shameful to realize I have absolutely no right to a “poor pitiful me” moment. So many other cultures in third world nations that are fortunate to have a single meal a day yet the people are happy, they have smiles and they welcome strangers, sharing what they have, as little as it is. As a kid one of the items I have the fondest memories of was a piece of wood plank