The Meandering Mind of a Christian Woman

And I’m in that place once again.   That place between faith and despair, between believing and wanting to believe. As I write this, I am sitting beside my daughter’s hospital bed, she has been here four days and so have I. Her level of disability is severe.   Sleeping next to her on a cot each night, we typically have periods of conversation, some serious, some funny. I am doing what I can to minister to her with great love and care, helping her get comfortable, helping her eat and advocating for her.   However, I cannot begin to reach the level of ministering she has done for me.   I marvel at my daughter, her outlook is so filled to the brim with love and confidence in her healing.   She has touched my heart so deeply and she continually refreshes my spirit. The sweetest part is, she doesn’t even know she’s doing it. When I consider my faith, I sometimes imagine myself as the character, Susie, from “Miracle on 34 th St ” on the way home after the party at the nursing home, she sits

I am not a great swimmer.   I can tread water for a fair amount of time but, due to my natural buoyancy, I am best at floating.   .   I further appreciate that when I am floating my ears are typically under water as well and that blocks out all the other distracting noises, there is a real peace.   How often do we feel as though in life we are treading water?   We keep moving but we don’t get anywhere.   Lately, my prayers have included asking God to enable me to lay my burdens down and not pick them up again (Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about here).   Last night as I prayed the image of floating on calm water came to mind. It is a comforting image, when I am floating on the water, I am weightless and graceful.   When I trust the Lord, my burdens are weightless and I am filled by His grace. Matthew 6: 25-34 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.   Is not life more that food and the bod